Recently my wife Naomi and I started our journey to improve our health. If you follow us on Facebook you will see that we have been eating better, getting up and going to work out at ungodly hours, all for the sake of improving our physical health.
Well all of this working out and healthy living got me to thinking about our marriage and how our journey to better physical health can be a model for improving the health of our marriages.
It costs you something: When Naomi and I started this process we learned very early on that trying to live a healthier lifestyle costs. We had to pay the program fees, get a fitness coach, we had to get our work out gear. All of these things add up. Not only that we also had to start purchasing healthier food and not rushing out to the fast food restaurants. How many of you know that unfortunately carrots and broccoli costs more than a large fry from McDonald’s.
Well the same goes in Marriage, if you want a healthy marriage it may cost you may have to obtain a marriage coach, you may have to purchase resources such as books and videos on what it take to have a healthy marriage. You may even have to invest in marriage counseling.
You have to put in the work. The most grueling part of living a healthier life style is the fact that you have to do the work. No matter how much you would like to skip over this part the plain truth is that you have to put in the work. We are learning that there is no silver bullet, or magic potion to living a healthier live style. If you want to live healthy you have to work at it. You have to make the sacrifices, such as getting up and going to the gym, practicing discipline and eating the right things.
The same things apply to our marriages. If we want to have a healthier marriage we have to practice discipline. We have to work on things like communication, intimacy and trust building. We have to practice saying the right things and we may have to sacrifice our time and energy to invest in our marriages. Just like living a healthier lifestyle, there is no silver bullet or magic potion for developing a healthier marriage. We simply have to put in the work!
Results may vary and appear to be slow: Oh my God. This is a good one! After working out one day, I jumped on the scale and nothing happened. Day two nothing happened. But by the end of the first week I did notice that I lost a couple of pounds and I was beginning to feel more energy. This let me know that sometimes the results appear to be slow but the truth is that all of the work and energy that I am putting into eating right and exercising is starting to pay off!
I can recall when Naomi and I were going through a bad time in our marriage, I was so anxious for things to change. I thought that by going to one class or having one meeting with a counselor would immediately change the health of our marriage, But just like one day of working out didn’t move the dial on the scale, going to one class would not fix all the challenges that we faced in our marriage. However, after staying committed to doing the work over time, we were able to see the difference in our relationship. Over time we became closer, there was more peace in our home, we were able to talk without fussing and fighting and yes there was more intimacy in our marriage. Not just sex but real intimacy, we were closer, we enjoyed being around each other and it has been a total blessing. The fact of the matter is that sometimes the results are slow but you can’t rush it and more importantly you can’t compare your results to some else. Not only are results slow they also vary from one couple to the next.